The crippling effect of fear

I went to a women’s conference this weekend and it was super amazing! I want to share about something that really got me thinking: Fear.

To some of us, fear is a norm and we have become so comfortable in it that we do not even think about changing it. You probably don’t realise but a lot of things that you would like to accomplish but haven’t done so is because fear has been pulling you back. Fear of rejection, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of disappointing people around you, fear of making mistakes.

I am sure you relate with either one of those fears, or maybe you have your own unique fear. Whatever it is, it has pulled you back. It saddens me that people’s opinions matter so much to us, which is why we hardly do anything for ourselves.

Fear has a crippling effect on us. When we think we are not good enough to be above the standard or we are too scared to work for what we want because we do not know if we will succeed, we start thinking small. We immediately prevent ourselves from believing in our greatness.

My wish is that we shake of fear and be women on the rise. That we work hard to accomplish what we have set out for ourselves, regardless of the uncertainty that we will succeed. Isn’t knowing that you did your best and being proud of that better than sitting back and getting nothing done?

I am going to step out of my comfort zone this week, and do something that I have been scared of doing. I hope you do the same and tell me all about it!

We continue appreciating those before us

I wrote about two outstanding and inspiring women in my previous blog: Mother Theresa and Susan B. Anthony. Today I will write about Mariam Makeba and Wangari Maathai.

Mariam Makeba (1932-2008)

Mariam Makeba, also known as Mama Africa was a South African singer who introduced African music to the western countries. Besides being a singer, she was involved in radical activity against apartheid, in the civil rights movement and black power. Mariam made a success of her music internationally while she was in exile despite of her personal life being a tragedy of injustice, domestic upheaval, exile and torment.

Mariam was confident enough to pursue her dream and purpose regardless of her circumstances. That is what it takes to leave a mark!

Wangari Maathai (1940- 2011)

You cannot enslave a mind that knows itself. That values itself. That understands itself.~Wangari Maathai

Wangari was an environmentalist, feminist, politician, professor and human rights advocate. She was a head of the Green Belt Movement which she founded in 1977. The mission of this movement was to plant trees across Kenya to fight erosion and to create firewood for fuel and jobs for women, the movement soon spread across Africa. She was awarded the Nobel Peace Price in 2004 for her contribution in environmental conservation, democracy and peace.

Wangari was a courageous and visionary woman. She empowered woman to take charge of their lives.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, the list of such motivating women is endless, and we appreciate all of them! You can share your views and thoughts on other women who left a mark in the comments box below. 

Appreciating women before us

Today I am taking a moment to appreciate and applaud the women who left a mark. These are women who aimed higher than the standard to make a difference. A list of these women is endless, but I will only write about four, not because they left a greater mark but because there are a few things we can learn from them as women. The four women are Mother Theresa, Susan B Anthony, Mariam Makeba and Wangari Maathai.

Mother Theresa (1910-1997)

Almost everyone is told about Mother Theresa at least once in their lifetime and this comes as no surprise. Mother Theresa was a Catholic nun of Albanian ethnicity and Indian citizenship. She ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned and dying for over 45 years while leading the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, first throughout India and then in other countries. She was internationally renowned as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.

Mother Theresa was humble and selfless, and that is what it takes to leave a mark!

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)

I pray every single second of my life; not on my knees but with my work. My prayer is to lift women to equality with men. Work and worship are one with me ~ Susan B. Anthony

Susan was a president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association. She campaigned against slavery and for the promotion of women’s and worker’s rights. Anthony was tireless in her efforts, giving speeches around the country to convince others to support equality and woman's right to vote. She even took matters into her own hands in 1872, and voted illegally in the presidential election for the US. Adult women were only given a right to vote in the US fourteen years after Susan’s death.

Although Susan did not live long enough to see the impact of her efforts, the foundation she laid for women rights is appreciated till this day. Susan B. Anthony was dedicated, and that is what it takes to leave a mark.

I will continue writing about Mariam and Wangari in my next blog postJ.

Real Beauty

I don’t know if commercials and campaigns ever inspire you but I’m definitely inspired by campaigns that value women. There are two famous campaigns that really stand out for me.

      First, the Be Strong and Shine campaign by Pantene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNtMP1h1JRw

This commercial (link above) basically shows how women are typically labelled. It shows a man and a woman doing the same activity but are labelled differently. A man in corporate is called a boss while a woman is called bossy. A man working afterhours is seen as dedicated while a woman is seen as selfish. Other contrasting labels such as persuasive versus pushy and smooth versus show off are also shown in the commercial. The message given at the end of commercial is that you should not let labels hold you back.  

        

     Second, is the Real Beauty campaign by Dove

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE

This is probably one of the most touching videos I have seen. It is about how women perceive themselves compared to how other people see them. In the video, women see themselves as less attractive than they actually are. How sad is that? I wonder how many of us actually have that perception as well. We hardly see ourselves as beautiful until someone tells us we are and sometimes we don’t believe it when we are told we are beautiful.

For me beauty is more than how the world perceives us or how we have been labelled. It’s about what makes us unique and sets us apart and that is what we should embrace!

Act like a Lady, Invest like a Man.

We usually associate the word investment with finance and putting money into financial schemes, shares or property with the expectation of achieving a profit. Investment however can also be defined as devoting one’s time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile results. We like it when everything goes well without really investing energy in it! How we like to get good grades without much studying, earn a lot without working overtime, be healthy when we are not eating healthy or exercising. 

To be a woman who aims higher than the standard, you have to act like a lady but invest like a man! It’s no surprise that men like investing their money to yield returns in future. Men like securing their futures and protecting their families. You need that mentality but at the same time embracing what makes you unique as a women. The problem is that you can’t invest your energy and time in everything ie. you simply can’t do everything you want. This make it necessary to identify what is most important to you, so that you can make an investment in it. This will obviously be different for every women, to others it might be excelling in their careers, while others just want to connect with their families. 

They say time is money, but if for you time is better health, closer friendships or connection with family, you should become good across the key areas of your life, and then excel in the one area that’s most important to you. This can radically transform your perception and be the first steps toward living your best life!